1. Tell your friend you are worried and have noticed certain changes. Tell her/him what you have noticed, observed, sensed. Make "I statements" (i.e., "I feel worried, I feel scared for you, I feel concerned") vs. "You statements" (i.e., "You have a problem"). Do not accuse, pass judgment or criticize.

2. Be a friend. Which means: Listen and offer to help in whatever way you both agree is appropriate.

3. If your friend does not want to talk or denies the problem, bring it up again at another time.

4. Do not demand your friend "admit it". She/He has committed no crime.

5. Be aware and take responsibility for your own feelings. Many of us feel angry toward a friend’s refusal to trust and share information and feelings. Some may feel angry because we would like to be thin and we are envious. Others may feel helpless and frustrated.

6. Do not "spread the word" that you suspect your friend has a problem; broken trust will end a friendship.

7. If you are worried and/or feel that your friend’s life is in danger, tell someone you trust about your concern. A parent, a teacher, or a school counselor may be among the best choices.

8. Do not take on the responsibility for your friend’s problem or treatment. You can not "fix it" and it is dangerous to try.

9. Support and encourage all attempts at getting help, and hang in there!